Written By: Adam Dince
This morning I woke to find that yesterday wasn’t a nightmare—it was all too real. The bedroom was silent. No loud yawns, no big stretches, and no big brown eyes peeking out at me from underneath the comforter.
I went downstairs to get my bags ready for work. I turned the light on in the living room along with the TV to keep Sam company, only to be reminded that he wasn’t there anymore. It was time to go on our morning walk, but there was no leash and no one to go with. His food and water bowls were full, but they looked as empty as what’s left of my heart. The plate of food that Sam ate Sunday’s dinner from is still in the sink. I can’t bare wash it. The treats he left uneaten on the floor are still there, I won’t pick them up. His toys are strewed across the house and my socks that he loved to carry around are still on the steps where he left them.
It seems like just yesterday, he came home with me for the first time. Our first walk together. The first time he chased after the birds chirping on the window ledge. The first time we sped down the freeway with the convertible top down. The first time he ate a box of tissues. The night I saved his life after he tore into a box of chocolates.
I never thought the day would come when I wouldn’t be able to come home to my boy. Why couldn’t I save his life this time? Why couldn’t I have found the cancer sooner? How did it happen so fast?
I held him as he took his last breath. I asked him to wait for me on the other side and promised to find him when I cross over. I stroked his fur and paws as his head rested on my arm for the final time. I can’t believe he’s gone.
Sam was my hero. My son. My best friend… my dog. I’ve never loved anything or anyone like I love Sam. When I said goodbye to him yesterday, I said goodbye to who I used to be.
If you are lucky enough to have your own Sam… make sure you never take a moment for granted. How I wish I had those moments back.